Punishment

Salam. 

I know this kinda lame but have you ever thought of the worst punishment ever? (besides being spanked by ur mom with a magic duster whatsoever. Eh?)

For me, the worst punishment ever is when you have this kind of misconception of this one person, you be sarcastic towards her which she never retaliates, talk bad bout her (I mean behind her backlah) to other people or within your circle and then suddenly she died. Unexpectedly.

The most excruciating part is when we are left without real explanation on her part and she left when we have not yet ask for her forgiveness.

That is PAINFUL. So friends, here I would like to apologize if I had offended any of you, done unconsciously or vice versa. I believe it was due to lapse of judgement or merely impulse of the moment. I am truly sorry.

Moral of the story is BE NICE, BITCHES. ;)

For just once

Salam. Its good to be back. (Is it?)

In our life we do have wishes and till this very 21 years old of mine, Ive burdened my parents with gazillions of super-rubbish wishes that they have replied with various ways but with the same meaning.

NO. or just GO AWAY.

Saad. So much for loving parents doting over their kids. Heh.

But never once in my life I make time to really ask my parents, what do you actually want from me? Or is it FOR ME?

Never. Never. How ungrateful. Thats the problem. They always tell me the same thing. Never the ever-changing-every-five-seconds gazillion things. They tell me to

1) Never forget Allah.
2) Do us proud. If even you are not able to make us proud, dun ever do something that will put us in shame.

These two advice will be my family heirloom. I'll definitely pass 'em to my kids. (Sorry future kids, there'll be no money to pass to you, only advices. eh, dun fuss, be grateful remember? *evil laugh*)

Ibu, Abah, from now on, I'll promise for once at least before I die I'll try my best to make you proud. (even if it happens in 10 more years, please bear with it. Its the most unfortunate that your daughter is a late bloomer.*dun ever think of disowning me nowww*)

So guys, love ur parents, no matter what. Even if they are hovering you like a G6, its because they want you to become a Soyuz someday. HEE

Sedar

Langit luas, bertebaran
Cerah kah? Mendung barangkali. Entah
Mata menipu, Hati berdusta
Akal. Kau mahu percaya?

Desis langkah laju
Toleh belakang
Angin sahaja temankan aku
Ya, aku seorang
Sesat? Tidak. Kaulah itu

Hati tak ada rasa, sudah penuh bata
Berat.
Hati tak cantik mana, sama rupa
Tak, tak perlu dijaga
Pijak sahaja.
Jangan risau, dia tahan lama

Langkah walau laju, mata semakin kabur
Kenapa? Waktu. Dia hasad
Ketuk daun kuat bunyinya. Kosong lagi.
Masa mahu cepat-cepat pergi
Nyah kau.

Sepi. Ini hati tak pernah kenal
Tak perlu. Berjalan sekali sepasang bunyi
Sampai yang terakhir
Barulah berpasang-pasang
Tanah sahaja yang setia. Dan angin.

Unpublished romance (EHH)

Salamm. It has been lonngggggg since my last post.

Nah, there'll be nothing fun bout this post. I'll be a typical ladyblog this time. Heh

Being alone makes a series of reminiscence to come back to me.

I have no boyfriend for this time but of course, like any other normal girls, I do have something called infatuation which in my case I believe it is not that.

Do you think that infatuation will make you read his every status, blogpost, or anything scribble with his name on it?

I know, I'm getting insane. It is more than infatuation. I'm becoming a creepy stalker in the making -big gulp.

This one fine boy, ehem you, has long makes my heart flutter. Thank god ure still in Malaysia. Believe it or not, my girlfriends tot I was joking when I put ur initial as the name on my hardisk (iknowcreeppyyehh) and when sometimes I stated Mr Architect when being asked about the profession of my future husband, they laughed.

No gfs, I love all of 'em and I did not blame 'em. Our 'thing' is sort of unpublished romance. And back then it was not a secret either. Haha. How I loveeee those days.

Being in different U give me the advantage of having a bit of pride as I can stalk and get updates bout you from far. (psst, no one knows i'm still stalking you. muahahahha)

Even my LLB 'muse' was not that special you know! (Thats because he got a gf oredi and I happen to like his gf too. I know, PATHETIC IS IT??!!)

Counting, it has been four years since we last met and I'm still can't get over it. Heh. You are something dude. Congrats. (like he cares...NO, PLEASE MAKE HIM CARES! *throaty cough*) Ohh, I should get a grip! *swoon*

To that particular Mr. Architect, If you come across this, please be noted that :
No worries, there's no grudge held against you. You are the sweetest guy who never make fun of my physical. Your mind is like a spin of web that sometimes I cannot reach you.

But I do wonder when we can start again. (Hopeful)

Raya = Happy Tree Friends

Salam peeps.

I know, I know, it has been a while. But who cares, now I'm back aite? Its raya people, pleash, dun be mad? (I'm sure someone will say : De hengat blog de fofuler sangat orang nak kesah? Puhleaze. Dah la tak sofistikated. Fineeee)

But peeps, I dun think we'll be any sophisticated-ish today because I'm gonna overload this post with CUTENESS. A bunch of super cute lil creatures whom are very dear to my heart. *sighh* (Eventhough I barely talk to them. ...You'll see why)

Dun go! I promise you that I'm talking about the authentic cuteness, not the poses that I use during cam-whoring (or just whoring. hurm) But these creatures I tell you lah, they are bloody adorable but yet at the same time, they can be MONSTROUS I tell you. Creepy. But their cuteness always prevailed and their monstrous wail, grumble or etc will usually be forgiven. THAT cute huh.

A couple of nights before raya, our family will gather and I was like 'Oh, my, my. There are toddlers everywhereeeeeeee!!' and my toes will curled due to stormy sensation of absolute cuteness. They are too cute it hurts. HAHA (seriously, when they angry or hungry, they will do those cute faceS and go bite anyone's arm = ouch and at the same time, GOOSEBUMPS!)

Presenting, my own Happy Tree Friends..ERR

Those chubby legs. Yum! Alonggg, go away!

Kembar. Believe meyh. I missed these two alreadyy!

Someday, I'm sure this lil guy will breaks some hearts. AAAAAAA! ANDD

...This is his lil siss (man, cuteness overload!)

So many people said that she is the miniature version of me. But (of course) with better attitude. hessh

......and this is the miniature sis. With a pweety name- Zara Bazil

The bottomline is DONT try to hate them. You'll fail. Damn, THEY'RE SO ABSURDLY AWESOMELY CUTE I WANNA CRY!

That's all. *weeping airmatamenitikkatkeyboardkorgdiam*

How I'm gonna cope with this stareeeeee????!!! *zing~zzzzzit~zing*

p/s : I know that this post has some kind like 'zikir cute' as it has a lot of 'cute' word, but for them, WHY NOTTT?? Because they are. They really are! You know, the 'C' word (please don't let me start againnn)

Late or Never?

Salam people.

Its never too late for anything you know.

If you love someone, just go and tell them.

If you want something; go and get it.

As simple as that.

Virtuoso

Salam people

I know, I know, 2 posts in a day. Stop it will you? I'm overrajin, so what?

Anyway, yesterday I got the chance of stashing an album from the band that I always anticipate in whatever that they're up to - Panic! at The Disco

And as you know smartypants, they recently released an album entitled Vices & Virtues. Some of you may doubt that I'm a lil bit outdated, but what the hell. I got the album, and you, DONT. So, jealousy is expected. Heh. This entry is goin to be long, (since I'm gonna braaggg few things *evil laugh) so read up and brace yourself.

See the handsome Urie there, THEREEEEE.Oh, come on! Squint a bit

These are the tracks available in the album. No worries, all of them are bloody good. (unless u're Rebecca Black's Friday die hard fan, then..*shrug*)

Quite a handful is it? But in the end, after hearing all of these, I bet u'll ask for more or just continue to plug your ears with some of the tracks which I tell you, are catchy and easy to ears.

I'll leave out the Ballad of Mona Lisa and Ready to Go because I bet you people have heard it on MTV before (If not, just stop reading this and go listen for them now!Hesh, what la you people)

"Lets kill tonight" have this kinda 70's groove and its cool. It doesn't sound weirdy, lamey, its just nice and I loveeeee the chorus. The song is quite Arythemic-ish and Beat It-ish, I mean, in a good way which left your head shaking to the rhythm. Cold heart brew colder songs.

"Hurricane" - the lyric You'll dance to anything keep playing in my head and there's some classy instrumental at the end. That goes the same with "Memories". Damn, I can't get any of these outta ma head!

"Trade Mistake" is another story as I didn't get it at first, then after a few replay, I'll describe the song as an okay; my advice, take a look at the lyrics and pay attention at the instrumental in the beginning and at the end of the song. Eventually, u'll be hooked.

I found it the same as "The Calender". It's surprising, as love song is always my favourite genre. Hurm.

Then, "Always". I. WAS(and still). SMITTEN. Period. It's light, its just BEAUTIFUL. BLOW MY SOCKS OFF. God. I could not believe Urie could come out with such a nice slow number. (I can't wait for the music video!)

"Sarah Smile" is a song dedicated to Urie's gf *swooned*. Damn, another hot young creature taken! Damn. Damn. *jealousy clouding me so..* I'm gonna listen to this song again when my jealousy tone down. Can I cry?

His picture that still under my bantal peluk. Not busuk eh, tolong skeett.

This pic gonna drench in tearsss I tell you. TEARRRS lah. Not AIR LIUR BASI! Supportive willya?

"Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)" is blended splendidly by the band as it sounds refreshing. "Stall Me" makes me smile. I don't know why, maybe its good, or its just very P!ATD-ish. The same goes with "Oh Glory" "Bittersweet" "New Perspective" and "Kaleidoscope Eyes".

"I Wanna Be Free" "Turn Off The Light" are expected to climb the music charts. It capture listeners with ease.

Overall, this album is worth every penny with the artistic value on the lyrics booklet and songs itself along with a few (can be said) successful experiment of music composition on the P!ATD part. I'm excited for all the song to reach the listeners and then we can all shakes our head to the beats together yeah!

Sneak peek at the booklet. Checkitdaut!

Cool isn't it? Heh, see, I told cha.

Hearken! sequel : Facepalm

Salam people.

Damn, now I know why I'm easily depressed and oversensitive. Its in my hand.(hand. hand.*echoes.got it? nevermindddd) More precise, on my palm. *slap myselfff*

I went thru some stuffs(??) and I found this.

My palm is like 20x bigger than this. Could serve as wrestling arena for small animals -_____-

Okaaayhh, the thing is I do have this line on my palm. Ugly ones, the iron chain-like it says. God, fuglyyehh description. Then it further explains that whoever got this line is....

.Jeng

.Jeng

.Jeng

Scary much? Nahhhh. It just said that "If the Love Line has a shape of iron chain, it indicates moody, depressed and overly sensitive." Gaaahhhhhh. SEEEE. EXACTLYYEHHHH. Am I lucky or what? Pfft.

But then, I'm a muslim and this thing is purely for fun. I don't trust this thing 100% (fine, may be like 15%.hehe) The bottomline is, it is not your palm, mole, fingers or your !@#$%^ even that reflects who you are. It is up to YOU to decide who you really are. Never wait for other people to pat your back, pat it yourself, it'll shows that you appreciate yourself more than others do.

Err. I believe this is vain. (wrong picturehhh. NEXT!)

People (sometimes) stink you know (esp when they forgot to put on some deodorant. *hey,whatthaff) No, I mean 'stink' the other way. Okay fine, I'll say it = SUCK. (I could imagine seeing a page of the buku amaln baik Ramadhan being tored right now Y.Y)

For example, this young man who never used shampoo. Its a miracle if he knows what soap is. (KRRKK *another page being tored. Fine. FINE.)

I got to go or else, the buku amalan will get thinner and thinner. T.T

Hearken!

I have something to confess. Finally, I'm in love! The lucky (disputable err..) guy is

. T

. E

. N

. G

. K

. U

TEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! WRONG!

Actually, thats not the kind of confession I wanna make today. The thing that I had kept for so long to myself is that I'm easily DEPRESSED. Not in a good way. Nuh-uh.

I'm not feeling stress; just depressed.

Timeously, I just said to myself that it is just another phase where I'm facing the transition from being adolescent to adulthood. But as time goes by, added with prove of family medical history, my positive self started to get wobbly and I'm kinda worry myself.

Tainted set of files. No. Not helping hereee

The last semester was the worst. I wept practically each time I walked home. I'm lucky because I walked home alone so no one knew how critical my condition is. The thing that creeps me out was that sometimes, I put myself in danger. For example, I was PURPOSELY being careless while crossing a busy road. There was one Saturday where I had nearly (literally) thrown myself upon a moving car. Yes, that's creepy. With the burden of assignments, it just getting worse day by day. And I have no one to turn to. Even my house mates.

People around me kept wondering why I'm plugging my ears with music almost all the time. Easy, that's one way of toning down my depression. My playlist must haves :

1. Damien Rice - Blower's Daughter
2. And Then I Turned Seven - Goodbye, I'm sorry
3. Ben Fold - Still Fighting It
4. Matthew Perryman Jones - Out of Reach
5. Billy Joel - Vienna
6. Bread - Aubrey
7. Adele - Someone Like You
8. Anda - Menghitung Hari 2
9. The Click Five - Don't Let Me Go
10. Coldplay - The Scientist

They are undoubtedly a bunch of good songs but I guess these songs just give me an explainable reason for me to cry than to cry out of nothing.

I was very vulnerable to any negative comments. I realized that I never fancy to be alone. But friends around me though that i'm highly independent and can do almost anything without other's presence. WRONG PEOPLE. I do need people to be around me all the time. Sometimes, I was not aware of my deeds and I need someone to look after me. I may seem happy and funny enough to be hanging around with you but the truth is, I just need somebody to talk to.

Its never fun to be lonely. Excruciatingly painful it is. Try it if you dare.

When my depression gets the best of me, I'll be talking to myself. Somewhat get into a conversation. And lastly, when the final exam was just around the corner, I was suspected to have cancer and silently, I was quite happy to hear that thinking my miserable day on this earth will be over. Creepy, I know. (and nope, no cancer. Just some useless lumps on my neck)

Yayyy, finally! (pause) Whaaattt? Nooooooo

So, whatcu say? DON'T you think I'm in dire need for help guys? *wind blowing* Find, I'll sort this myself. As usual *rolling eyes*

Where you at?

Anywhere but here -Safetysuit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwyZ1tuWHLs

(This is a MUST song on my wedding day. But I'm still single. Sheet)

I just love this song. Hell, I'm not in love. Don't make that kind of assumption.

I realized that when we post something like loveydoveyhh thingy, people will assume "Hah, de ni nga kapel la niyhh..." or "Amboihhhh, tudiaaaaa oghang becintaaaaaa".

Alololoooooo. ehem!

No. No. No. If you're one of this fella, my advice to you is DON'T assume. Ask the tuanpunyabadan instead. (trust me i was once this kinda fella..jahiliyahhh. SHOW SOME MERCYEEHHH.)

But then, if the tuanpunyabadan's answer is kinda predictable then say yahoo to your assumption. Then you can brag you got the most accurate sixth sense evaahh. NOOTTT.

But, when somethin biggg happen, like this BIG happens, your friend might let you go (I mean for the explanation lahh) for the first month (maximum) BUT, you just can't simply DRAG ur silence for YEARSSS. The other side I'm sure has waited and give you enough time to produce words of (any words that make sense) youknowwhatimean. JUST SIMPLY EXPLAIN. DON'T LEAVE THEM HANGIN'. ITS NOT COOL. AT ALL.

cute thing like this? I'll give you THOUSANDS explanation. So, whadduyuwannaknow?

SPILL. I'm single btw. eh??

If they keep you hangin', find something to cut the rope. Do some silent treatment (bashing behind their back. haha) No. Don't do that. No bash; just the silent.

For you my dear friend, if you happens to read this post, just so you know, YES, I'M WRITING THIS FOR YOU. JUST CUT IT OUT AND GIVE ME THE DAMN EXPLANATION. I'm just tired waiting. I love you but you just don't care, is it?

So, SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE (which i'm sure not peaceful at all. heh)

Curiosity killed nothing but you

Salam people.

The old saying goes 'Curiosity killed the cat'-This makes me frown for yearsss. Whats the rationale behind this, why it was stated that way? Is being curious a bad thing? Nuh-uh. So, why the cat? (I'm a cat lover, so.....biasness is reigning over me. heh) WHY THE POOR CAT FORGODSAKE?

That's one. I should find out! (*ching bunyik mentol atas kepala) Why I'm wasting my time babbling over something unanswerable in this small constricted space? Ceh. Small constricted space my foot. (This is where all the great ideas come from you know?) Anyways, being curious was painted as something distasteful. I wonder why it is placed that way. Then, it may be due to the different eras and evolution of cultures.

Eh, whattha... oh, imjustsupercravingferthis. sheesh

During our atuk nenek times, gossipping bout the neighbours was the only thing that could relieved their curiousity. The cliches opening like "Eh kau nak tau tak, si polan polan tuh dah......." with all the avant-garde expressions and body languages (not to mention the 'ching-ching' of their jewelleries.)

Tudiaaaa. Ghantai beskal omehhh

Then there will be some tea served along with kuih and this actually could last for hours I tell you. Talking bout amount of energy poured when badmouthing someone. *shivers*

But nowadays? Everything goes online. It's no longer limited to gossips but also outsourcing the info on so many other things like exams question (whattt??*smirks) There goes dictionaries, wikis, emails, social network. Unlike then, the objectives of doing all these were not to trashtalking on someone (really? haha. ehem) but also as a form to relief the curiosity calls. Just a thought, the opening for gossiping has also changed tho. "Mak ada cter hoootttt hari ni.." or "Meletup kauuu..." Haha

"Baaabeeee, makngahnyeee kakiii awww!Btw you nak tau..."

Old saying be damned. If not, you'll not able to even know what K.I.V, P.S, A.M or P.M stands for. (If you still have no idea of what the full form of these abbrs, GO FIND IT NOW! KILLS THE CURIOSITY IN YOU BEFORE IT KILLS YOU! *patheticdramatic) --> no cat will be harmed, so don't worry -________-

Hey, DON'T let your curiosity pass. It might help you in future.

(Oh, and if you're also want to know whats with the cat, click this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curiosity_killed_the_cat)

Kick start, jump!

Salam people.

This is the ilostcount-th attempt to blog in full determination.

Have faith, have faith. *wavers*

I won't blow it this time. Promise. *squint*